Category: Humour

Microsoft Buys ReactOS for $12.3 Billion US!

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I was just remarking to my son that it’s going to be tough to write an April 1st (aka “April Fools”) story that is actually weirder than what we are living through right now. I mean, we are in the middle of a global pandemic, people around the world are in lockdown, or in isolation, everyone that can work from home is working from home, and the economy is tanking. Seriously, how do you beat that? Then, I started thinking about the most successful, meaning most convincing, April Fool’s article I ever wrote. There were tons of comments at the …

Zombies are your friends, and other news.

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As we enter October, the month of spooky, we turn our attentions to all the scary things that hide in the dark places. Like zombies. Yeah, I know. Zombies are scary undead things that eat brains. The whole “eating your brain” thing would be (or should be) scary enough, but the fact that you then turn into a filthy, smelly, parts falling off, undead thing yourself is also pretty bad. And even though I agree that it’s pretty bad, there’s something you need to know about zombies before you go passing final judgement. Zombies are actually just big goofy creatures …

The Open Deity Project (ODP)

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Creating The World’s First, and Best, Open Source God To contribute, see the GitHub link at the bottom. Today, I want to introduce you to the “Open Deity Project”. ODP will be a community built god and religion with a git repository for changes. The purpose of ODP is to give us all the chance to make the perfect god. We will do it by following a time honoured open source philosophies. Open the code. Share the code. Release early and release often! Everyone is invited to work on creating the Open God. If you can’t help in the creation, …

(NOT) Calling From Microsoft : Trolling a Scammer

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Every once in a while, some joker calls, claiming to be from Microsoft (or Windows). They explain that they've detected malware of some sort on your computer and now they are here to help you fix it. I've known more than one person who fell for this helpful scam, and even if I didn't, I have no love for these people. One day, upon receiving such a call, I decided to let them 'help me' fix my Windows. I started recording the call and this is the result. Pay close attention to how they react when they find out they …

Donald Trump Bugged My Phone

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Many people today have told me that Donald Trump has bugged their phones. They have no proof, of course, but after hearing so many people telling me the same story, and you know they can't all be lying, I'm starting to think that Donald Trump has bugged my phone as well. Honestly, I'm getting really worried about how far this whole illegal surveillance actually goes. To that end, I'm launching an investigation into these illegal activities. If you're one of the potentially millions of people whose phones have been wiretapped by Donald Trump, let me know here. All I'm asking …

Cemeteries and Churches

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Today was another day of summer camp for the boys. One was at soccer camp and the other at skateboard camp. That, however, is not really what this post is about.  After picking the boys up, we passed by a cemetery on the way home. My youngest, the 8 year old, looked out the winder and asked, "Dad, why are cemeteries often beside churches?" I told him that was a good question and built my explanation thusly. You see, my boy, churches are often thought of as God's house. What's happening then is that people are being buried next to …

What “Our Menu Options Have Changed” Really Means

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It seems that every time I call a company these days, the first thing I hear when the line is picked up are the following words. “Thank you for calling Our Big Megacorporation. Please listen carefully as our menu options have changed.” Feel free to substitute “Our Big Megacorporation” for any business name you please. For the sake of this discussion, it’s pretty much all the same. I don’t know about you, but I find it hard to believe that the menu options on the automated phone trees of every company on this planet has recently changed. In all likelihood, …

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