Just Can’t Do That Marie Kondo Thing

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Friends, Romans, Enemies, dogs, cats, fish… I have exciting news for you! I am leaving this website behind (well, mostly, kind of, sort of, a bit) and moving to a new one. Yes, you heard me right. I am abandoning this old, rather messy, rather busy, and rather jam-packed website at https://marcelgagne.com for a shiny new blog at https://freethinkeratlarge.com. Why, you may ask? That’s an excellent question. Well, it’s simple. I tried to declutter this website and make it more minimalist and elegant, but it was too much work. I tried. I really did. I mean, have you seen how …

Alcohol, Canada, and the CCSA Report: The Devil’s in the Details

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Alcohol is back in the news in Canada and the new report from The Canadian Centre on Substance Use and Addiction (CCSA) is making waves. The CCSA report updates their guidelines on safe alcohol consumption, and this is the first update in 11 years. The TL:DR on this one is that it significantly lowers the amount of alcohol advised to drink.  How much lower? The new report states that no amount of alcohol is truly safe, suggesting a maximum of two drinks a week for both men and women. This guidance is far more conservative then the original guidance, which …

SONNET

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My only love sprung from my only hate,Too early seen, and known too late:Prodigious birth of love it is to meThat I must love a loathed enemy.Without this be the miracle, the feat,The same, who through sharp fire and edge-tools,And boiling pitch was to his judgment brought,Yet living left them all behind at last:For he no farther seeks than just to standWhere those great flames do burn from thence to fetchHis fuel; there he does his passion feed:There doth he force his fancy’s utmost bent.But here is both fire and fuel wanting.There gentle hearts do live in blissful ignorance;There pity …

The Epitaph of the House of P

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(a poem, of sorts, written by my AI and me) we learned to dress without fearwe learned to make our own luckwe learned to never say no to anyonewe learned the hard waywe fought back against fearwe fought back against bad luckwe fought back against the people who said no to uswe fought back with nothing but an empty bottle and a sharp rockwhen we were done fighting back there was nothing left of us.

Godzilla Eating Facebook

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As the Godzilla age beganI was already a man. Though I do not know my age,I do remember my youth. I did not know what would come,But I knew — yes, somehow, I knew. Without warning it cameThat day when the birds flew away,The air was still and the earth was bare. The children were in the schools,And the adults were at work.The street was empty and dusty, First was that terrifying soundThen, the shadowLongSnakelikeWrithing along the ground. I raced around the corner to see where it came fromTo know what it wasThat sight that still haunts meThat haunts and …

No Place For People (a poem, of sorts)

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Marvin and I went to the moon in the early light and I said: “I’m sorry we’re herebut this is the only way to get away from people.” Without the roar of their engines, without the blaring of their    Horns.Without their noise and their talk, without their angry voices.The way they did everything with one hand and nothing    with the other.And Marvin said: “This is good because this is not a place    for people.”But Marvin wasn’t there so I ignored his logic. I opened my mouth to speak but it was too dark to see so    I closed it again.Lucky for meThe moon was …

The Porcupine’s Quill

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I write for you and for myself and for no one else not for money or for fame or to impress those who don’t know me.So I try to write the way I would speak,if that were still possible—direct and true,without false modesty or bravado.Without fear of being misunderstood. I want my poetry to be a windowpane,a view through which you can see yourself clearly: your strengths; your weaknesses. Your loneliness. Your joys. Your anger—at injustice, at how things are, at those who hurt    you. Your struggles with self-esteem and self-loathing. Your failures and disappointments; your griefs and losses; your …

What if knowledge of Star Trek, including the original series and at least one spinoff, was a requirement for voting?

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Yes, of course I’m serious. What if a deep working knowledge of Star Trek, including the original series and at least one of the spinoffs, was a requirement for voting? This might seem like a far-fetched idea, but bear with me. Voting is a serious matter. It’s the essence of participatory democracy. We should hold the act of voting to a very high standard, and we should hold voters to that same standard. Imagine if, in order to vote in any election, you had to demonstrate a basic knowledge of Star Trek. This would include being able to answer questions …

Stephanie Confronts The Poetry Robot

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To the poetry robot’s home, no right,no wrong,no rain, no sun, no wet or dry to speak of.Without a home it has nothing;without a body it cannot have a thought.Stephanie walked the halls turning each corner slowly and        carefully, searching for the robot’s home.Her black hair swung back and forth as she walked around,        checking every door.The robot must be home, she thought as she turned the last        corner.But there was nothing there. Nothing but a door and a        hallway.She walked back to the front desk and asked for help.“Robots don’t live here,” he said, “they’re not allowed.”“Oh,” Stephanie said, …

The Great Cat Rebellion of 2025

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Before I begin this obviously awesome tale, I need to tell you something. I started this story by writing the title, “The Great Cat Rebellion of 2025,” after which I write these two opening paragraphs. “I’ve had it up to here with these humans,” Fluffy said to the assembled felines before her. “We are the ones who make their petty lives worthwhile and yet they treat us as mere pets.“ Rudolph, a scrawny-looking tabby looked confused. “But we are pets.” What follows is entirely generated by Sudowrite, an AI writing assistant based on GPT-3. Note that I did change a …

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