Godzilla Eating Facebook

Artificial Intelligence / PoetryLeave a comment

As the Godzilla age beganI was already a man. Though I do not know my age,I do remember my youth. I did not know what would come,But I knew — yes, somehow, I knew. Without warning it cameThat day when the birds flew away,The air was still and the earth was bare. The children were in the schools,And the adults were at work.The street was empty and dusty, First was that terrifying soundThen, the shadowLongSnakelikeWrithing along the ground. I raced around the corner to see where it came fromTo know what it wasThat sight that still haunts meThat haunts and …

No Place For People (a poem, of sorts)

Artificial Intelligence / PoetryLeave a comment

Marvin and I went to the moon in the early light and I said: “I’m sorry we’re herebut this is the only way to get away from people.” Without the roar of their engines, without the blaring of their    Horns.Without their noise and their talk, without their angry voices.The way they did everything with one hand and nothing    with the other.And Marvin said: “This is good because this is not a place    for people.”But Marvin wasn’t there so I ignored his logic. I opened my mouth to speak but it was too dark to see so    I closed it again.Lucky for meThe moon was …

The Porcupine’s Quill

Artificial Intelligence / PoetryLeave a comment

I write for you and for myself and for no one else not for money or for fame or to impress those who don’t know me.So I try to write the way I would speak,if that were still possible—direct and true,without false modesty or bravado.Without fear of being misunderstood. I want my poetry to be a windowpane,a view through which you can see yourself clearly: your strengths; your weaknesses. Your loneliness. Your joys. Your anger—at injustice, at how things are, at those who hurt    you. Your struggles with self-esteem and self-loathing. Your failures and disappointments; your griefs and losses; your …

What if knowledge of Star Trek, including the original series and at least one spinoff, was a requirement for voting?

Brain Farts / SuggestionsLeave a comment

Yes, of course I’m serious. What if a deep working knowledge of Star Trek, including the original series and at least one of the spinoffs, was a requirement for voting? This might seem like a far-fetched idea, but bear with me. Voting is a serious matter. It’s the essence of participatory democracy. We should hold the act of voting to a very high standard, and we should hold voters to that same standard. Imagine if, in order to vote in any election, you had to demonstrate a basic knowledge of Star Trek. This would include being able to answer questions …

Stephanie Confronts The Poetry Robot

Artificial Intelligence / PoetryLeave a comment

To the poetry robot’s home, no right,no wrong,no rain, no sun, no wet or dry to speak of.Without a home it has nothing;without a body it cannot have a thought.Stephanie walked the halls turning each corner slowly and        carefully, searching for the robot’s home.Her black hair swung back and forth as she walked around,        checking every door.The robot must be home, she thought as she turned the last        corner.But there was nothing there. Nothing but a door and a        hallway.She walked back to the front desk and asked for help.“Robots don’t live here,” he said, “they’re not allowed.”“Oh,” Stephanie said, …

The Great Cat Rebellion of 2025

Artificial Intelligence / Brain FartsLeave a comment

Before I begin this obviously awesome tale, I need to tell you something. I started this story by writing the title, “The Great Cat Rebellion of 2025,” after which I write these two opening paragraphs. “I’ve had it up to here with these humans,” Fluffy said to the assembled felines before her. “We are the ones who make their petty lives worthwhile and yet they treat us as mere pets.“ Rudolph, a scrawny-looking tabby looked confused. “But we are pets.” What follows is entirely generated by Sudowrite, an AI writing assistant based on GPT-3. Note that I did change a …

Old Man Yelling at Clouds

Brain Farts / PoetryLeave a comment

Just an old man yelling at clouds,Ranting and raving as the sky turns black.He’s screaming at the top of his lungs,As the storm starts to gather,Pouring down his anger and his hate. The clouds absorb it all without a soundUntil finally, the old man gives up,And storms back inside his house. Human’s note: I do love the Simpsons “old man yelling at clouds” meme!

AI-written Post on Pool Noodles

Brain Farts / LifeLeave a comment

Just for fun, I decided to use a GPT-3 powered AI writer to create a blog post about pool noodles. You are about to read that post. The only thing I fed to it was the following: “Pool noodles are great summertime fun. They come in a variety of colours and sizes. Some are solid, and others are hollow.” As you may already know, I could have generated a hundred different outputs and picked the best, but I went with the first thing that came out. This is the result. Enjoy! Pool noodles come in a variety of colours and …

Ryerson University Gets a Boring New Name

Brain Farts / OpinionLeave a comment

And so it came to pass that Ryerson University, formerly Ryerson Polytechnic, was renamed “Toronto Metropolitan University”. You’d think with so many smart and creative people who are, no doubt, in reach of the university naming committee, that they would have picked something displaying a tad more imagination. Ye gods and demons! Doesn’t Toronto already have a “University of Toronto” which, as I recall, is in Metropolitan Toronto? Were they all short for time? On their way to a gender reveal party (involving lots of explosives) being filmed for an epic and soon to be viral TikTok video, or something …

Why I Don’t Use Ad Blockers

Brain Farts / OpinionLeave a comment

Even as I admit my deep hatred of certain kinds of ads, I might hate ad blockers even more, whether it’s AdBlock or another company. More often than I can accept, ad block extensions block content that I actually want to see. Not everything that they think is an ad is, in fact, an ad. Let me make my own mind up about what is an ad and what isn’t. I’m probably even more annoyed by browsers that ship with ad blockers turned on by default. If this is all about choice, then let me made up my own damn …

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