On one hand, they can’t bear the thought that a two day old sperm and egg combo — that’s called a zygote for you folks out there who think it might be a baby — might not make it into church 9 months later. No, every sperm is sacred (apologies to Monty Python) and that ova had it coming anyhow.

Their Jesus probably has a sign on his truck’s bumper sticker that says, "You can have my gun when you can pry it from my bloody, crucified fingers.

He is, after all, a personal God, one who shares your values and who you don’t have to share with anyone else. Praise the Lord and pass the shotgun! We got us some sinners to hang.  Yee haw!