The Bible

Jesus Was a Racist

There is no good in this world, done under the name of religion, that could not have been done by good people who hold no religious belief. Any good and moral action that has been done in religion's name has been done in spite of religion, not because of it. Good people will, given the chance, do good. And most people are good. 

27
Jan

Today's Bible Quote Examined : Kings 2:23-25

If you've every wondered whether God and his prophets have a sense of humour, wonder no further. Harken to the word . . . 

23 And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head.
24 And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the Lord. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.
25 And he went from thence to mount Carmel, and from thence he returned to Samaria.

Apparently, having your bald head insulted was too much for Elisha who was on his way from Jericho to Bethel. He calls on God to do his worse and God puts on quite a show indeed.

23
Jan

Jesus and the Parable of "The Good Samaritan"

The parable of the "the Good Samaritan" was always one of those stories that stuck out as being 'wrong', precisely because it sounded like a racist slur or stereotyping a country and its people. You know what I'm talking about. The cheap Jew. The drunk Irishman. Here in Canada, we used to have stupid Newfie jokes.

In that way, the parable of the Good Samaritan is much like telling the story of the Sober Irishman, which is worth mentioning only because, well . . . can you really imagine a sober Irishman? How about the story of the rich Jew who gives a lot to charity?

Or the Newfie with a Ph. D.? Seriously . . . We could come up with something totally unbelievable, like a Newfie doctor who invents a life-saving device or does something important! Let's include that one in the next edition of the Bible, shall we?

02
Nov

Slavery in the Bible

Boulanger Gustave Clarence Rudolphe The Slave Market

Chrstians, as I've said more than once, are largely hypocrites, and I consider this an exceptionally good thing. Those people who would hold the Bible up as the perfect word of God and ask us to consider each word and paragraph as divine Truth are preaching a scary doctrine indeed. The Bible is a collection of highly questionable accounts with some real historical significance but only occasional accuracy. Put another way, it's a collection of fairy tales with as much truth buried in the pages as does Lewis Carroll's "Through the Looking Glass". Accepting that the Bible isn't the absolute word of God is hard for some, but it's the truth. My religious friends and family selective pick and choose from the Bible all the time, accepting some passages and rejecting others. In other words, they don't truly believe that it is the unnerring word of God. They are, at best, agnostics. They are leaning over the edge looking down into atheism. And so, from time to time, I like to remind them of their selective belief in the so-called "Good Book".

Most people today think that slavery is a bad idea and few would suggest that we should take our Negro brothers and sisters, shackle them, and sell them in the public square. Of course, if we all followed the word of God as outlined in the Bible, we'd still have slavery, and we would support it because God, through the perfect word of the Bible, says it's okay.

Slaves are pretty cool in the bible -- you could pass them and their families to your children as wedding gifts and the like. As in Leviticus 25:44-46:

13
Aug

Working on the Sabbath is a Deadly Mistake

When the weekend comes, I like to avoid work as much as possible. And that's probably a good thing because working on either Saturday or Sunday could get you killed by friends, neighbors, and possibly your loved ones, assuming they are devout Christians. Or Jews. You see, in the Bible, it specifically states that working on the Sabbath is a no-no punishable by death. Death by stoning no less. 

Harken to the word;

Numbers 15:32-35
King James Version (KJV)

32 And while the children of Israel were in the wilderness, they found a man that gathered sticks upon the sabbath day.

33 And they that found him gathering sticks brought him unto Moses and Aaron, and unto all the congregation.

34 And they put him in ward, because it was not declared what should be done to him.

35 And the Lord said unto Moses, The man shall be surely put to death: all the congregation shall stone him with stones without the camp.

36 And all the congregation brought him without the camp, and stoned him with stones, and he died; as the Lord commanded Moses.

According to the Bible, the perfect and unchanging word of God, it's okay to kill someone for working on the Sabbath because God says so.

Now I have to say that I find this just a wee bit harsh. The guy was collecting sticks. I grant you that not being a Christian, I may be a little more forgiving about these sorts of transgressions, but killing someone for gathering sticks on a Saturday just seems over the top and maybe even uncalled for. There could have plenty of good reasons for this guy to be collecting sticks. Maybe the meat had gone off and rather than throw it out, he wanted to cook it, perhaps to feed his wife and eight kids (who were then fatherless).

Of course, back then Saturday was the Sabbath.These days, if you're a Christian, you probably want to avoid any kind of labour on Sunday because that's what the Catholic church changed the Sabbath to; Sunday.  

If you're curious about this change, follow this link to the Catholic Mirror, "official organ of Cardinal Gibbons, Sept. 23, 1893".  Interestingly enough, most Protestant Christian groups just went along with the Catholic renaming of the Sabbath, or at least didn't kick up much of a fuss. Sunday as the Sabbath wasn't made official until January of 1910 when Pope Pius X gave it his 'apostolic blessing'.  About the only Protestants who really don't like this whole Sabbath on a Sunday thing are the Seventh Day Adventists. 

So whether you are looking to do a little work around the yard on Saturday or Sunday, just make sure you do it out of sight of your Christian (or Jewish) friends, family, or neighbours. In 2012, they probably won't stone you in the public square, but you sure as heck wouldn't want to be wrong on this one, even if they can no longer attend church because Jesus said it was a bad idea.

30
Jul

Jesus doesn't want you to go to church

Many of us live for the weekend. Time to kick back and slack off a little. You've worked hard all week and you deserve a break. But the day after Saturday is Sunday, and for many Christians, it means a mandatory trip to the local church to do a little praying and worshipping.

As an non-believer, Sunday is just another day off, like Saturday. But on Sunday, many Christians believe they should be going down to the house of God for a little shot of the Almighty. The only catch is that Jesus was totally against this idea. That's right. By going to church and praying with friends and family, you are disobeying the very man around whom the whole church is built.

Harken to the Word . . . Matthew 6:5-7
New King James Version (NKJV)

5 “And when you pray, you shall not be like the hypocrites. For they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the corners of the streets, that they may be seen by men. Assuredly, I say to you, they have their reward. 6 But you, when you pray, go into your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly.[a] 7 And when you pray, do not use vain repetitions as the heathen do. For they think that they will be heard for their many words.

So you see, Jesus doesn't go for that whole getting together in Church and praising God thing. If you're going to pray, Jesus wants you to do it quietly, at home, in your own room. He also doesn't think you should recite prayers. God likes original content and that stuff in the Bible or the other holy books . . . He's heard it all before.

And so, when the next weekend rolls around, take a pass on the whole church thing. Not going is what Jesus would want you to do. 

07
Jul

When Sex With Your Daughters Is Okay: A Bible Story

Someone approached me a few days ago, attacking an entire demographic, homesexuals in this case, using the Bible as his justification. God says it's evil and therefore homesexuality, and everything that goes with it including (of course) gay marriage, is equally evil. It says so right there in the Bible and since the Bible is the perfect word of God, it is the way it must be. In that case, sex with your daughters must be okay as well. It is, after all, the means by which Jesus Christ eventually came to save us all. Yes, incest is, Biblically speaking, the engine of your salvation.

Before you get angry at me for posting a story with this title, let me assure you that it's perfectly okay.  After all, my story comes from the Bible, the perfect word of God. And if God has no problem with the idea of a father impregnating his daughters, then who are you and I to question this? So read on, and make sure you have your children gathered around you as we share this reading from the Holy Bible. Please turn to Genesis, chapter 19. Verses 30 to 36.

30 And Lot went up out of Zoar, and dwelt in the mountain, and his two daughters with him; for he feared to dwell in Zoar: and he dwelt in a cave, he and his two daughters. 31 And the firstborn said unto the younger, Our father is old, and there is not a man in the earth to come in unto us after the manner of all the earth: 32 Come, let us make our father drink wine, and we will lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father. 33 And they made their father drink wine that night: and the firstborn went in, and lay with her father; and he perceived not when she lay down, nor when she arose. 34 And it came to pass on the morrow, that the firstborn said unto the younger, Behold, I lay yesternight with my father: let us make him drink wine this night also; and go thou in, and lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father. 35 And they made their father drink wine that night also: and the younger arose, and lay with him; and he perceived not when she lay down, nor when she arose. 36 Thus were both the daughters of Lot with child by their father.

That's from the King James Version. If that's too out there, how about the New International Version?

30 Lot and his two daughters left Zoar and settled in the mountains, for he was afraid to stay in Zoar. He and his two daughters lived in a cave. 31 One day the older daughter said to the younger, “Our father is old, and there is no man around here to give us children—as is the custom all over the earth. 32 Let’s get our father to drink wine and then sleep with him and preserve our family line through our father.” 33 That night they got their father to drink wine, and the older daughter went in and slept with him. He was not aware of it when she lay down or when she got up. 34 The next day the older daughter said to the younger, “Last night I slept with my father. Let’s get him to drink wine again tonight, and you go in and sleep with him so we can preserve our family line through our father.” 35 So they got their father to drink wine that night also, and the younger daughter went in and slept with him. Again he was not aware of it when she lay down or when she got up. 36 So both of Lot’s daughters became pregnant by their father.

Let's pause for a moment to let that sink in.
 
A couple of thoughts . . . First, Lot was one of the good ones; remember that God saved him when he took out Sodom and Gomorrah. 
 
And second, we let kids read this stuff? People who let their kids read the Bible have obviously never read the Bible.
 
A drunken father has sex with his two daughters and (nudge, nudge, wink, wink), he doesn't remember a thing. I can see a few of you in the back saying, "yes, but they got him drunk." Excuse me! That makes it okay? If your logic holds up with the police and most judges in the country, rape victims are going to have an even tougher time than they do now. 
 
If you can somehow manage to convince yourself that Lot can't be blamed for this and that this doesn't in any way prove that the Bible condones behaviour like this, allow me to take you back a little earlier, when God was still hot on Lot. Harken to the Word in the book of Genesis, chapter 19, verses 1 through 8.

The two angels arrived at Sodom in the evening, and Lot was sitting in the gateway of the city. When he saw them, he got up to meet them and bowed down with his face to the ground. 2 “My lords,” he said, “please turn aside to your servant’s house. You can wash your feet and spend the night and then go on your way early in the morning.” “No,” they answered, “we will spend the night in the square.” 3 But he insisted so strongly that they did go with him and entered his house. He prepared a meal for them, baking bread without yeast, and they ate. 4 Before they had gone to bed, all the men from every part of the city of Sodom —both young and old—surrounded the house. 5 They called to Lot, “Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us so that we can have sex with them.” 6 Lot went outside to meet them and shut the door behind him 7 and said, “No, my friends. Don’t do this wicked thing. 8 Look, I have two daughters who have never slept with a man. Let me bring them out to you, and you can do what you like with them. But don’t do anything to these men, for they have come under the protection of my roof.”

And from this selfless act of prostituting his own daughters, the purported master of the universe decided that Lot was the one good man in the city. Maybe that's why the daughters were so ready to hump Dad in his old age. Nothing says 'good man' like throwing your daughters out of the house to be raped by a horny crowd of miscreants. We wouldn't want Lot's guests to be inconvenienced.  

There you have it. The Bible says rape and incests are okay with God.

Which takes us back to Jesus. The Bible states that the children that came from this relationship went on to father the Moabites and the Ammonites. King David, who would go on to unite the tribes of Israel and write a few Psalms, was a descendant of the Moabites. So, the entirety of Israel and the birthplace of Christianity, including Jesus Christ (purportedly a direct descendant of King David and therefore able to trace his ancestry to the Moabites), are the product of an incestuous relationship.

28
May

The World Ended Yesterday. How Do You Feel?

In case you missed it, yesterday was the end of the world. Again.

According to Ronald Weinland, the author of "2008 - God's Final Witness", the countdown to the end of the world started December 14, 2008 when the "the First Trumpet of the Seventh Seal of the Book of Revelation sounded". Trumpets are always extremely popular harbingers of doom. If you hear a trumpet, duck. But I digress . . . Apparently, since December '08, things have been going seriously downhill and now Armageddon has (apparently) happened and we're all dead. Apparently. 

I, for one, am sincerely happy that I had a chance to catch the new Avengers movie before the whole planet went belly up. 

Mr. Weinland now joins notables like Harold Camping for failing to predict the Biblically prophesized end of time. Interestingly, like Mr. Camping, it seems Mr. Weinland also has a thing for May apocalypses. After all, nothing makes you pine for Armageddon like May flowers. 

For those who would like to see how it all ended yesterday, visit the-end.com.

Enjoy! Or don't. 

And if you're still around out there, and you know of other up-and-coming Apocalypses (apocalypsi?), please, leave me a comment and let me know. I do so love a good end of times prediction.

16
May

Christians on the Edge of Atheism

A great many Christians are sailing awfully close to the edge of atheism in trying to justify those things in the Bible that are distateful to them. Say what you want about the moral lessons therein and the Word of God, there's a lot of truly hateful things in the Bible as well. Anyone who truly believes that every word of that book is the absolute Truth, direct from God himself, is a potentially dangerous person and I sincerely hope somebody is keeping a close eye on their actions. The Bible, after all, condones slavery, rape, and murder in countless passages. Those who truly believe that when God says "kill", you shoudl kill, are dangerous people.

Most Christians I know, however, are basically hypocrites, something I'm deeply thankful for. They waffle on the whole Bible being a perfect thing, picking and choosing the bits they like as though they were at a Chinese buffet, unsure of what everything is but indulging in the things they're comfortable with, like the deep fried chicken balls and the egg rolls. They ignore the vast majority of the Bible and instead focus on Jesus, the God made man. He's the hero of the story, after all, and the other 85% or so of the Bible can pretty much be ignored if you just focus on Jesus. Right?

If God is indeed God and Jesus an incarnation thereof, then pretty much every shred of evidence of his existence comes from the Bible. If you do not choose to believe in what the Bible says, or you elect to pick and choose the bits that matter to you, then you might, deep down inside, really be an atheist or, minimally an agnostic. No Bible pretty much adds up to no Jesus.

One Christian friend of mine argued that Chist didn't actually die on the cross. He points to a book called, "How Jesus Became Christian". The book challenges the modern Christian church on its not being Christian at all but a church of the apostle Paul. It lays a lot of the problems with Cristianity at Paul's feet, blaming him for taking things literally or misinterpreting the text. "Get back to the teachings of Jesus and the church is better off," my friend argued. He told me that Chist did not die on the cross, but rather endured great pain and pulled through; after attending a seminar called "A Coroner at Calvary", where forensic evidence to that effect was presented.

All right, let's talk about that one, mostly because it's pretty important in the Christian canon. If Christ did not die on the cross, then there is no miracle of the resurrection and he wasn't God. If he was merely (and I mean no disrespect by the word 'merely' here) a great teacher and healer, then he was a man. He could be as great as you want him to be, but he is still a man and, therefore, not somebody you worship. 

And, to push this to the breaking point, if we accept the 'teachings of Jesus' as the basis for a religion, then we also accept the evil he did and the evil he condoned as somehow being good. If I accept that he lived as the Bible states, then Jesus was far from perfect. He may not have been a bad guy, all in all -- he may have been a great guy -- but he was just a guy.

There have been plenty of great men and women on par with, and surpassing, Jesus Christ. Some, I'm sure, have worshippers. They, however, don't get the credit, or the social acceptance, that the borderline believers of Christ do. In short, most people do not worship somebody for being 'just a guy', no matter how wonderful a guy (or gal) they were. So what about you, my nominally Christian friends. Do you? How much of your holy book, of your religion, are you willing to turn a blind eye to before you accept that maybe, just maybe, you might not be as much a Christian as you think?

04
Nov

God's Will, Cruelty, and Murdering Children

Back a few months ago, Karen and Elizabeth Shatz were found guilty of their child's murder (they pleaded guilty). The adopted child was beaten to death by following the instructions in a fundamentalist Christian child-rearing book. Another mother, Lynn Paddock, was found guilty of first-degree murder for killing her 4 year old son, Sean, because he wouldn't stay in bed. Well, it has happened again.

Larry and Carri Williams are charged with homocide resulting from torturing, beating, and starving their child, then leaving her outside to die of exposure (and, presumably, her various wounds).

The parents, in both cases, essentially (over time) beat their child to death by following the teachings of a book called "To Train Up A Child" by Tennesse pastor Michael Pearl and his wife, Debi Pearl. It's a good Christian's guide to abusing your children in order to bring them up right. The authors advocate corporeal punishment for children from infants on up, with appropriate Bible citations and instructions as well as the sorts of implements you'll be needing to do the job. You can buy this torturer's guidebook on Amazon where it's a best seller. Yes, it's a best seller . . .meaning there are plenty of good Christian parents who adhere to this method of child-rearing.

Before I continue with my part of the story, take a moment to watch the video below. If you can.

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