Author's Note: This one was written back in 1991 just as Canada was about to taste its first World Series win. Sally (my wife) and I were joking about how this was just the sort of thing to bring the country back together, Canada grabbing for the greatest Americal trophy of them all. I sat down and wrote out this little piece of silliness and sent it out to a couple of newspapers to collect a couple of rejection slips which is what happened. Time has passed now. Canada is still living in strangely interesting times and the Blue Jays (after 2 World Series wins!) have faded back to just another team.


BLUE JAYS BASEBALL & CANADIAN UNITY


By Marcel G. Gagné


The electricity rippled across the entire country last week. You could feel it, couldn't you? When the Jays took the win in front of their four millionth fan, you knew that something special was happening that went much further than the game of baseball itself. Canadians from sea to shining see were singing "Okay! Okay! Blue Jays! Blue Jays! Let's Play Ball!".

No one was excluded from this feeling of euphoria, not the young, not the old, not the "I could never sit down and watch sports on television" types; no one. The fever was felt everywhere and the mystic words floated lazily across our collective lips igniting a hope of collective glory.

"The World Series."

In taking the American League East title, the Blue Jays succeeded in bringing Canada together, just as Brian and his twenty mule team was busily trying to tear us apart. Canada turned from the Parliamentary channel to the sports channel.

There is little in Canada to make us feel proud these days. The events that transpire in our great government buildings has cast doubt on our sense of place within this little universe. Being Canadian doesn't mean anything anymore, other than being one of the most heavily taxed countries in the world. Between the recession that we're told lasted only a couple of months and is now over, the Free Trade deal that created all those extra jobs (unfortunately those jobs are south of the border), and the GST, we've come to think of Canada as a place to stay until something better comes along. If Quebec separates, half of the remaining provinces will either join the U.S. or start their own country as well. Ontario will be all that's left of Canada.

It seems like a sad time to be a Canadian. Or does it?

Just when all hope seemed lost, the Blue Jays came along and gave a much needed shine to our tarnished pride. This wasn't Toronto playing the rest of the continent, this was Canada against all comers.

"The World Series." Dare we say it?

This is what the country needs more than anything else right now; (with the possible exception of a new Prime Minister.) We need to feel the kind of pride that can draw us back together again. We need a country-wide post World Series group hug.

It is just as important to realize that it has to be a baseball win. Hockey won't do it. As Canadians, we can win Stanley Cups in our sleep. It is genetically programmed into every Canadian to win Stanley Cups. The times we do lose a Stanley Cup, it's out of pity for the guys south of the border who aren't lucky enough to have ice all year long to practice on. If we need additional practice, we just go to Sudbury and rent a rink from the Eskimos.

But baseball...! This is the American Sport. This is the one victory we have never tasted. This is the one we need.

Now, I know I can't just come out and expect you to believe me without facts to back me up, so...

In the spirit of the various polls, I decided to do my own yesterday to test my theory that a World Series win is what Canada needs. The questions went something like this. "Given the choice, which would you prefer?"

  1. The Jays winning the world series.
  2. Brian tossing it to run away and join another circus
  3. Another Madonna movie

Respondents voted overwhelmingly in favour of the Jays winning the World Series with 97% of the vote. Brian managed a comfortable second place with 86%, while the remaining 4% favoured the Madonna movie.

When asked whether they felt a Jays win could bring the country back together, 38% said "Oui", 60% said it couldn't hurt, and the last 2% wanted me to repeat the question.

Therefore, I call on the Jays to help restore our nation to it's former united state with a song...

Okay! Okay! Blue Jays! Blue Jays! Let's Save Canada!


You can go home again!