This Halloween, I'm dressing up as a Pirate Santa.

Instead of saying, "Ho ho ho", I'm going to say, "Har Har Har, ye mangy landlubber. Tells me what ya want for Christmas quickly or I be sending your barnacle-encrusted hide to Davey Jones' locker. Aaarh!"

So Merry Christmas, you scurvy bilge rat! And Happy Halloween. Now hands over the goodies before I makes you walk the plank!

Aaaarh . . .